Hour One:
RC Collins comes on to say that as a young cadet at a military Academy, he has the right to partake in one of the military's greatest traditions: Going to the Donkey Show in Tijuana. It's something the Marines at Pendleton and the Navy seamen in San Diego have been doing for years so why can't he.
Hour Two:
Love Songs with Bob features love song dedications from NAMBLA members to their.....well anyway, Bob keeps playing the song "I Believe In Miracles" by Hot Chocolate. Whatever. Then Pastor William Rennick and his wife Miss Clara call in as the tune "I Believe In Miracles" is playing and the good Pastor does the Running Man, Cabbage Patch, Watusi, Mashed Potatoes and the Sprinkler as Clara does commentary. Rudy Canosa, owner of J'tiem Lingerie has a problem. Rudy, of the Argentinean love call "La-La-La," tells Phil a Muslim woman came into his shop and he was only having fun when he said to her, "Do you believe in Al-La-La-Lah?" Margaret Grey says that Robert Blake being found not guilty of killing his wife will only encourage guys like David Arquette ("a real screwball") and Brad Pitt to kill theirs. James Lipton of the Actors Studio interviews Leatherface. And then Leatherface chainsaws Lipton and takes over as host of the show. His first guest is Mickey Rourke. And he chainsaws Mickey Rourke. And then David G. Hall calls, interrupts the bit, and screams at Phil for milking it and not having any punch line. Phil says he does and all he ends up doing is having Leatherface chainsaw someone else. David is right.
Hour Three:
Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police believes Easter only scares kids who aren't raised in Christian homes because its all about "some guy coming back from a dirt nap." He will be monitoring conversations in restaurants and if he hears "any of this Jesus zombie talk" he'll ask people to stop. It turns out jay is an atheist and his agenda is fairly obvious. Not that the callers get it.
