Phil talked with Gloria Grover, Larry Grover's mom, about her recent shift to Democrat after years as a Republican, Karen Deaville called to kiss Phil's ass, Justin McElroy described a friend of his mother's who "paws my face" (the woman is blind), David G. Hall was trying to score with a female client who's Pakistani, and Joe Dickhead fakes a murder/suicide with the Professor because he wasn't ready with his NFL picks.