Hour 1:
"You Shot Grandpa!" Close personal friend Don Parsley calls in to let Phil know that his grandfather had just passed from an accidental, self-inflicted gunshot wound to his upper back. Don was hunting with him at the time of the incident and can't believe his grandfather, a professional hunter, could be so reckless with a firearm.
Hour 2:
"Dangling Kids" Substitute teacher Clara Bingham had a run-in with a student that forced her to take immediate action by dangling him out of a second story classroom window to "put the fear of Jesus in him." She doesn't know why all the parents are so upset though because she was in complete control, even if she "saw red" and can't recall exactly what happened between the time the child pushed her to the time the janitor was pulling them away from the window.
Hour 3:
It's Joe Dickhead and the Professor's NFL picks! Phil also discusses whether or not he should wear a tux to a black tie event. Darryl Webber's Funky Chicken Cacophony and Liquor Jamboree closes out the show.