Hour One:
Phil talks about having to take a physical for a acting job he got and Bud asks if its going to include a blood test. Phil says he isn't sure and Bud says "remember it takes 30 days for marijuana to leave your system." Tsunamai Sam comes on to do a blues tune about Pope John Paul the 2nd and suddenly breaks into "Candy Man." Professor Husband Ginther discusses the reasons why Prince Charles might possibly want to marry something as frightening as Camilla Parker-Bowles. He has as his guest, Willie Brown, a gentleman who was Ms Parker-Bowles driver. He isn't sure if its relevant but Prince Charles was a particular fan of The Doors "Back Door Man." Hal and Viola Levelliere, just before their plane stalls out, ask Phil why they would dress the Pope like Santa Claus.
Hour Two:
Father James McQuarters, currently in Rome, comes on to discuss who might be the next Pope.. The Fathers vote? Cardinal Bernard Law of Boston, accused of covering up child molestation by priests in his diocese. He says the crap Law took from outraged parents was like a "21st century crucifiction." He also said that molesting a protestant kid is a venial sin but molesting a catholic kid is the full death sentence: mortal sin and the hot place, pit 9, spit 4.
Hour Three:
On the Comb-Over Boy Show its Flash Friday. 'Boy wants chicks to show their breasts out car windows but his callers realize he's ripping off Opie and Anthony and get bored. They keep trying to get off the phone while 'Boy keeps trying to keep them on. Even only saying a word every 4 seconds doesn't fill enough time. Jeff Dowders Hypothetical America imagines what would happen if lightening struck the Pope's coffin and he came back to life. Phil gets the vacationing Herb Sewell on the phone to ask why he is visiting his mother when she tortured and sexually abused him as a child. Herb blathers some crap about how it's "the civilized thing to do" and he doesn't want Phil to mess up "eight good, strong years of electro-shock and insulin shock" with his irrelevant questions. Then its another edition of "Phil's Boring Comparisons Between 9/11 And Pearl Harbor brought to you by Orville Redenbachers Popcorn. When you look in the bowl, you won't see a seed." The Phil then reminisces about the time he broke up with some chick and as a result almost joined the French Foriegn Legion.
