Category: Uncategorized

Posted on by

Suddenly I Look Up And It’s 2025

Hi everyone, it’s Ted Bell. As many of you know it’s been a rough 2024 for me and truth be told a rough 2023 before that. On a recent show, my good friend and business partner Rudy Canosa commented that I’d “had my head shoved in it“ for a long time. To continue he said I’d “had my nostrils pulled open and had it shoved up into my nostrils and I was forced to inhale.“ All true, and therefore it is a relief to look up from the, if you will, manure pile, and see a new year a’comin,’ as my dear grandmother would call it and a new year “a’risin.’ 2025. I look forward to a great Valen-Ted’s..that’s right….a great Ted-ster. A great Ted of July, and somewhere down the road a return to..that’s right…the hot buttered Ted, where no one thinks of me as being strapped to something and oiled up, I’m sorry to be graphic. Things have gotta get better and I know they will to a great 2025 y’all. I’m Ted Bell! That’s all I have to say I’m just Ted Bell.

Posted on by

I’m Radio Consultant Tom Dovka. When Will I Be Heard?

I’m Tom Dovka, longtime radio consultant of a great many radio shows down through the years. One of the ways that I gained success was by hard work and good instincts. That’s why it sort of hurts a wee bit to see a guy like Hendrie get inducted up into the Radio Hall of Fame. All the time I consulted radio stations that Hendrie worked at, Hendrie never did what I said to do. I said “do the weather, then shut up and play another Creedence Clearwater Revival record.” And what do you think Hendrie did? He didn’t do what I told him to do, that’s what. So then I had him fired. And the next thing you know, Hendrie’s getting inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame. Even though he wouldn’t shut up and just play the records in the card file that me and my assistant Dixie put together for our client stations. So Hendrie goes into the Radio Hall of Fame …and I’m still parked near a freeway on-ramp with my cell phone in one hand and a patty melt from TOPS Char-Broiled in the other, trying to get business done and get them to do what I tell them to do! This whole business is going down the shitter because guys don’t do what I tell them to. And they go to the Radio Hall of Fame and I’m eating a sandwich and drinking out of a thermos, parked near a farm ditch, out on Highway 69! There, I said it.

Posted on by

Someone’s Gotta Do Something! By General Gaylen Shaw

Thank you. For the last 3 months I’ve been staring at the same blog post from this kid Dowdder, day in and day out. It’s driving me nuts. Yes, I get it already about eating baby food. You wanna laugh? I did it. My brother Crisp had a new born, his son Burl (this was years ago) and I was at his place helping put in a new irrigation sump near the chowder (I just wrote a bunch of farm bullshit to see who’s awake) Anyway, it was lunchtime and I came into his kitchen having not eaten anything since before dawn and then it had only been a Slim Jim and a Diet Pepsi. I was starved. Lunch wasn’t ready yet so Crisp’s wife Ondine told me to help myself to anything I saw. She was going to head upstairs to the baby. There was nothing to eat that I could see except for the hamburger patties still sizzling in a pan on the stove and a box of Gerber’s strained peaches. For babies. See what I’m saying. So rather than eat raw, uncooked hamburger meat, I popped the lids off of the Gerbers and drained the contents of 6 strained peaches jars. I looked myself in the mirror and saw peach juice on my face and empty baby food jars on the table behind me. Christ, I felt low. Lower than whale shit, as the saying goes. I knew Crisp and Ondine would have questions. But I was alive. Alive. Thanks to Gerbers Strained Peaches. Me, I, General Gaylen Shaw. I ate baby food and I loved it. God help me but I loved it so. I loved it more than my life.
I wanted to write a blog about something other than baby food but I got sucked into writing one ABOUT baby god damned food. Damn baby food. Damn all the baby food that ever was.

Posted on by

I’d Rather Change Bedpans At A Retirement Home Than Be The Official Medical Voice Of The Phil Hendrie Show. I’m Kidding. – The Dr Jim Sadler Viewpoint

Hello. I’m sure there will be typos and grammatical car-wrecks galore in this essay but that’s the way the cookie crumbles when you write with such emotion as I feel now, have a bulked-up upper body as I have now and can’t do anything but sit and inhale the fumes of what I sit and live in as the result of my own choices. What am I saying? I’m saying that being the doctor that gets pulled out of bed or meetings or examinations to jump on the Phil Hendrie Show and give an “expert opinion” about something can be similar to entering a locker room where every member of a wrestling team has just used the same toilet and they’ve locked the door behind you, no air freshener. See what I’m saying? In other words, you are told “Hey Doctor Sadler, go into that room there. There’s gold and awards and publicity there” and you go in there only to have your head pushed into the crack of a fat man’s a**, forgive the crudeness. I have years of experience as a veterinarian, psychologist and in general practice but because I don’t use the big words, people think it’s fun to “push Doctor Sadler’s head all the way in” as the saying goes. Because I say “give me the thing you cut with” as opposed to saying “nurse, give me the scallop” (sp? see, I told you) I’m ridiculed, mocked and toileted by the Hendrie show, it’s staff and sponsors. And this after I go on and give my expert opinion about stuff. I know I don’t know the right words. But what I lack in knowing the right words, I more than make up for in getting the job done. That’s me. Doctor Jim Sadler. I get the job done!!

Posted on by

Merry Christmas And Merry New Year From I And Steve

Hi y’all. Bobbie Dooley here stopping by the Phil Henry website to wish you all the best of the holiday season. Down through the years, Steve and Me have witnessed many improvements and many changes at Western Estates, the gated community it has been our pleasure to serve as HOA President and Vice President of for lo these many years. From the inauguration of our Halloween tradition, Spook-O-Rama, to the spring drum and dance frenzy to the summer, fall, winter and spring-taculars, to our early morning nude walks, to my boobs immortalized in topiary form by my husband Steve, to the statue of my high rear-end at the main gate on King Kong Blvd, to Steve getting off with probation after being caught peering through the Cuntington sisters’ bathroom window, we’ve brought Western Estates to the very pinnacle of gated community living. Why was I writing this? Oh yea, to wish you a Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year, thats why!

Posted on by

I’VE QUIT COACHING FOOTBALL BUT WATCH FOR MY NEW PODCAST “DO YOU NEED YOUR MA-MA!?”​

Yes, I’m quitting coaching before I lose what’s left of my mind. Now, I could go into the wins and losses, the league titles, the lack of league titles, the nosey parents and the cheap creeps that dole out the money like it Yes, I’m quitting coaching before I lose what’s left of my mind. Now, I could go into the wins and losses, the league titles, the lack of league titles, the nosey parents and the cheap creeps that dole out the money like it Yes, I’m quitting coaching before I lose what’s left of my mind. Now, I could go into the wins and losses, the league titles, the lack of league titles, the nosey parents and the cheap creeps that dole out the money like it