Category: Bobbie Blog

I am again a part of the Phil Hendrie Christmas Carol, the annual presentation of the Phil Hendrie radio show. And once again he has me playing the Ghost of Christmas Past. I really feel I have earned a larger part in the production. The obvious climactic scenes take place when Scrooge (or Dickman) makes amends for his ways and visits Bob Cratchit’s house (pl;ayed by Phil Hendrie) I think the role of Mrs. Cratchit should be mine and not Margaret Greys. It’s not a secret what I think of Grey but I think any objective view of the projerct would reveal Grey carving up the part of Mrs Cratchit. The high end snobbery that is Margaret comes oozing through. Now I know you might say, well Bobbie, you have money. Why are you the choice? I’ll tell you why. Because I have more….wait….hold on…………

Steve just showed me the script and it turns out the part of The Ghost of Christmas Past is more substantial.

                     Me as the Ghost of Christmas Past

That leads me then to this question? Why wasn’t I told that being the Ghost of Christmas Past was a far more pivotal and important part? It’s a ghost and not a person. A person is more memorable, right? But apparently I am now looking for the first time at two scripts, one with the Ghost part highlighted and one with the Cratchit part highlighted and the Ghost part is bigger.

What I hate is having to reach these points of despair before I’m pulled from the edge by Steve who finally wakes up in time to give me some GOD DAMNED ANSWERS!! (door slam, car starts, tires peel out)

Steve’s brother Shay and his wife Bianca at home in Wisconsin

It’s that time of year again. A time for giving and expressing the love you have at this festive time of the season. It’s time to reach out to family, no matter how far away in space or in dimension or mental state. We are grateful for the family that we will, yet again, gather around us come Christmas Day. We just got this wonderful card from Steve’s brother Shay and his wife Bianca and their three kids, Mikka, Candee and Belle. I really am looking forward to having them for two weeks at Christmas. Steve’s parents, who used to make it out as well every Christmas, won’t be here this year. We grieve their not being here but are happy they are alive. They are getting on in years and being around civilized human beings is more difficult for them when they break wind, belch and behave for all the world like barroom louts. I’m sorry but that’s the truth. Every year I try and pretend like it’s not true. But as they might be dead this time next year it’s time I shoved a few things out onto the table. Sure hope springs eternal. But I know the freak show is on it’s way. Because even though Cord and Melasia, Steve’s parents, won’t be here, Steve’s brother Shay and sister-in-law Bianca and the three whatever’s will be. You talk about five freaks on wheels take a good long look at the jack-ass-ian Christmas card they sent. You ever seen anything more gothically wrong than that? Shay and Bianca are in the foreground in color and the children, people most families celebrate, are black and white spirits hovering in the background, sacrificial lambs to their parents  narcissism, mere props to the technicolor wonder that is Mommy and Daddy. And, not for nothing, but don’t you think if you were going to make yourself the star of the Museum of Natural History Exhibit you’d work on your looks a little. Bianca is just flat ugly. Oh my God is she ugly. And Shay is a frightening meat head. How in God’s name they wound up with even more money than us I’ll never figure. Never. You know what, forget this.

One of the things that makes you stand out in society or life or wherever you live is a signature phrase or “sign-off.” I got the idea for my own sign-off or trademark phrase when I was watching Nancy Grace during the Casey Anthony trial. Oh, I’m not saying I admire Nancy Grace. Everyone knows she crossed the line throwing her fat about, here and there, on “Dancing With A Star.” But her sign-off on the Casey Anthony trial was, I don’t know, kinda interesting. She signed off with “Goodnight friend.” I kinda liked it. And I set out to have my own. I didn’t want one as serious as “Goodnight friend.” I wanted it to be me, say what I am and what I am all about, me, who is me. And I wanted to make sure that it stayed my property and here’s why. Many people will see a phrase or a sentence or even a movie and say it’s theirs when it isn’t anymore theirs than the stupid, cheap apartments they rent. Haha. Anyway, in order to ensure (not insure but ensure, k?) that my phrase is mine and mine alone I have a thing that I put on it (Steve just walked by and said “I got a thing I’d like to put on it” and then bent over at the waist and laughed so hard he blacked-out) Here is the thing they told me to use. ™. And as you already most probably know I’m sure, my sign-off phrase is “Ta-Ta, LOL ™”

                  I like ‘unique.’ Here is a actress

You see that is why I have “Ta-Ta, LOL™” And so, that is why. I have started another paragraph and that means I should have something more to say, a continuation of the story. But I don’t. But for people that need glasses it looks like I wrote something big and long. Oh well, everyone now! Ta-Ta, LOL™

Bobbie Dooley, President, Western Estates Homeowners Association, Ta-Ta, LOL™

Hi everybody. Today is Sunday, the Lord’s Day, a day of rest. But I work on Sunday so I’ve made an executive decision (that means we do not need the usual quorum call or vote) to say that Monday will be my Lord’s Day, meaning just for me,  Bobbie Dooley as I do technically work Sunday because I write a blog early Sunday morning when I’ve pulled in from the bars..I mean when Steve and I return from dinner. So…tomorrow there will be no blog on account I decide it’s the Lords Day for me

I had sent out a general e-mail to our homeowners two weeks ago Tuesday or Monday. In it, I skecthed my thoughts on what radio shows they should listen to. For obvious reason, I asked them all to stop listening to the Phil Hendrie Show. The reason for that should be evident to anyone who has heard Phil joust with me. While I admire Phil and enjoy him as a person (some have said, not without merit, that I got a thing for him. Maybe. Maybe not. It’s none of their business. Ta-Ta LOL!™) he does have a way, however playful, of making me look loose, immoral and psychopathic which I think is a little unfair. That’s why (and please don’t tell any of our homeowners….oh, it doesn’t matter. They won’t believe you. They believe me) I don’t wish our homeowners to listen to Phil’s show and why I limit tickets for our four ‘Taculars to homeowners only and their guests. I can’t risk the contagion of the outside world sweeping into Western Estates. There are many that would like for me to look like a baboon’s you-know-what. Well as long as I am the HOA president I won’t look like the end of an ape. I will always have style. I learned my lesson the night I was carried off by some bum Steve invited over for a Super Bow3l party after I’d sat in the seven layer dip.  it won’t happen again, my friend. Never again. No way Jose. Ta-Ta LOL!™

Some of my gals! In our world, we’re stars.Don’t worry about it. Left to right: Jade Yinch-Futterman, Marissa Butler-Von Stroheim, Amber Gleason-Slaggit, Jessica Shner-Doubleday and Nicky Weidemeyer-Weiner

The homeowner is a simple creature. Many of our homeowners have scrimped and saved. They’ve clawed their way in here to be honest. They have invested hundreds of thousands of dollars on landscaping, upgrades, wardrobes for our dinners and mixers. They’ve sunk tens of thousands into dental work, new cars, breats implants, butt-elevation, face re-booting, ear adjustments, nose-jobs and tummy winchings. Some of these people put their last nickels into shoe-horning their way into this, the most desirable gated community just about anywhere in the world! I saw them when they got here. Ugly? Oh my God! So, they aren’t going to risk it all to disobey me and listen to a show that, however good naturedly, makes me look like a lurching idiot with a slap-dash make-up job and a face-lift only Dr. Frankenstien could manage. No way. No way Jose. Image control is paramount at Western Estates. I am uncomfortable with people who 1) don’t know how to uncork wine properly, using that wine-fork thing, but instead use that big, dumb corkscrew that also doubles as a beer bottle opener. And 2) I’m uncomfortable with some other stuff too. I loved what Georgette Wadd-Conklin did last year with the lights

But let not none of that dissuade you from knowing that I’m just a regular gal. And with my other regular gals on the steering committee, The Circle Of Taste, my fashion show co-ordinators, the gals at the PTO and all of the gals, thank you. (I forgot what I was writing about so I just wrapped it up. Ta-Ta! LOL! ™)

Oh I remember. So I know many of you want to come to the Winter-tacular but it’s not going to happen unless you are performing (and this year we’re going to have the Bob Lotion Singers. They are g-r-e-a-t! And headlining with comedy and patter from his hit TV show ‘Gas Can’……….Ray Alan Newberg! That’s right. When I found out we were getting Ray Alan I fainted. When I came to it was night and I thought I was dead. Then I realized I wasn’t dead. I was just in our community center ladies room! Ta-Ta! LOL! ™

Well until tomorrows blog, Ta-Ta LOL! ™