Month: September 2010

By Margaret Grey “A Little Bird Told Me” All Rights Reserved

Sheila Hershey, a third rate something or other looking to hitch her boobs, if not her wagon, to one star or another, went south to Brazil, looking for the biggest boobs on the block, cup size: M. Since the United States doesn’t allow tits that big she had to have the surgical procedure done in another country where Jesus knows what kind of antiseptic conditions exist. None the less, since Cup M would set Hershey as the woman with the biggest tits on earth, nothing was too filthy for our girl. So Brazil-bound were her breasts and she aquired the Hulk Hogans in due time. However…..

Since she decided to get butchered Brazil-style she has had so many on-going infections and other health-related issues Hershey has had to have breast REDUCTION surgery. Goodbye Monster Cans! And I do mean “Goodbye.” Not only has Hershey had breast reduction, she’s starting all over again. Most of her breast tissue is gone and implants are the order of the day…..much smaller implants. While we’re not talking bee-bees on a billiard table she won’t be any M cup again anytime soon, you can bet your sweet ass.

As for me, I’ll take my firm, pert breasts. Yes, I’m in my late fifties but my ass is still high and hard and my…..oh my God, what am I doing. Oh my God, please forgive me. I got carried away and I put down in print silly, stupid, vain trash. Oh shit, I hope Tony edits this out because I don’t know how to.

Boston Jets at Baltimore Rave. Joe Say: “Take it to the bank, team speed and coaching will be the deciding factors. The running games for both teams will almost be non-existant but watch the aerial ballet that ensues. Both defenses are big but stupid doesn’t begin to tell the story of just how dumb both defensive units are. God are they dumb.

Kansas City Chargers at the Kansas City Chiefs. Joe says: “Timing is everything and the even tempered kicking game combined with slight-of-hand blitzing should keep San Diego or Kansas City guessing. Kansas City must stop the pass rush of the Kansas City Chargers or the San Diego Chargers..one of those two. Getting to the airpot early to see whcih team showed up would have been a wise move for the head coach but too late now.”

*Unless they play Tuesday morning!

*Games Joe Dickhead picked right

New Orleans Patriots 29, Buffalo Bob 9* Minnesota Buccaneers 17-Boston Browns 14*, Miami 17-Buffalo Buffaloes 14*, Raiders 16-Oakland 0*, New Jersey Giants 21-Boston 14*, Jacksonville Jag-Offs 41-Chicago Cheetahs 2*, Washington Redskins 13-Dallas Ranchhands 7*, Boston Patriots 14-New York Mets 7*, Indianapolis Jets 14-Houston Oilers 21* Green Bay Bears 14-Detroit Panthers 14*, Chicago Tigers 14-Detroit Bears 10*, Minnesota Norwegians 28-Seattle Sea Gulls 14*, San Diego Broncos 14-Tampa Bay Devil Buccaneers 7*

Another 100% weekend, unequaled in the annals of sports books world-wide. Note: These are approximate results and may vary from the actual game results or actual games played. The teams mentioned here may have the wrong nicknames or be located in cities without actual NFL franchises or may represent teams now defunct. Joe Dickhead Sports Book International cannot be held responsible for losses resulting from individuals betting on teams that don’t exist.

Bosell reaches new depths of dumb as “not shaking off good” necessitates another call to Delores Blasingame of Riverside. Then “Art” comes back from retirement to try his hand at doing radio Phil’s way, making up fake voices…..

October 31st 2000—The legendary Halloween Hour with Art Griego wherein he claims the danger of goblins getting sucked into a jet’s turbine increase on Halloween. (Phil Note:  I always thought this was 2001, when we were in New York. Then I remembered New York is when Mavis talked about “werewooves.” That hour and all of 2001 is being processed and will up soon)

February 23rd, 2006—Steve Bosell recently went to his high school reunion and was very much looking forward to reconnecting up with former homecoming queen and cheerleader Sarah Teichmann. Things didn’t go according to plan and now Steve wants to sue the high school AND his wife. The song “Brandy” gets a work-out in this bit too.

July 29, 2005–General Gaylen Shaw discusses the Princess Diana crash. Inclusdes the generals theory that in his dying moments, Dodi Fayad dragged himself into a sitting position and put a smile on his face so people wouldn’t think he died doing nothing

March 26, 2002—Bob Bakian, millionaire businessman, seeks to creat a pin-up calendar for charity. The models? The widows of the men that died in the WTC disaster. The charity? “Abused Kids That Have Been Neglected And Beaten And Need A Home And Elderly People Too. 

6pm PDT, 9pm EDT, Sunday Night Phil features 3 hours of Classic Phil, much of it from new downloads available in the archives….This Sunday night, it’s more Sunday Night Phil

Bobbie Dooley discusses her ideas to make America safer, especially in flight. Nerve gas released by the pilot, axes and machetes hidden with the flotation devices and cockpit doors made of iron. Bobbie also and inevitably talks about who’s kid gets to survive…her’s, the one left at home or yours, the one on the plane. Naturally your kid gets nerve-gassed. Next up Jay Santos of the Citizens Auxiliary Police tells Phil that the magic words he uses to frisk or ‘spread” people are “Turn around, put your hands on your head and shut your pie hole.” Jay says that if those words are spoken with “the voice of authority” then the people will do just that and hence give their consent. Jay also says his ace-in-the-hole is that it’s suspicious to be out on 9/11 at the mall eating a corn dog.