Hall of Fame Coach Wooden In Grave Condition: Report

     

   

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – Former UCLA basketball coach John Wooden, one of the most revered figures in U.S. sport, was in “grave” condition in hospital on Thursday, according to multiple media reports.

The 99-year-old Wooden was being treated at UCLA Medical Center, the Los Angeles Times and Los Angeles television station KCAL each reported.

Although his family could not be immediately reached for confirmation, leading officials attending Thursday’s Game One of the NBA Finals were aware of Wooden’s failing health.

“We discussed it at length, and we decided that we would not declare his obituary now,” NBA Commissioner David Stern told reporters.

“He’s the winningest coach in our history, four 30-0 seasons, and the ultimate aficionado of our game. We hope he’s in peace right now, and we’ll wait on events.”

Widely regarded as one of the best team builders in U.S. sport, Wooden guided UCLA to an unprecedented 10 National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) championship titles, including seven in a row from 1967-1973.

Under his charge, Bruins teams registered a record 88-game winning streak from 1971-1974, four perfect 30-0 seasons and strung together 38 consecutive NCAA Tournament games from 1964 to 1974.

Affectionately dubbed the “Wizard of Westwood”, he ended his career with a win-loss record of 667-161 after 29 years of college coaching.

Wooden became the first person to enter the Basketball Hall of Fame as a player (1961) and as a coach (1973).

“He established a goal that is unreachable in college sports, obviously,” Lakers coach Phil Jackson said before Thursday’s Game One.

“And held it to such a standard that we all appreciated his teaching and his mentoring of his college students. His coaching has been an inspiration to all of us coaches.”

art work by Amanda Green

SAN FRANCISCO (Dicklin Syndicate) John Mark Karr, the sick creep once considered a suspect in the murder of 6-year-old beauty queen JonBenetRamsey, is trying to form a cult of little girls to have sex with him, according to a California teenager. Are you featuring this?

Nineteen-year-old Samantha Spiegel, who appeared Wednesday on NBC’s “Today” Show, said Karr is trying to recruit girls 6 and younger, and preferably brunette, for a sex cult she called “The Immaculates.” What an asshole. And how about the “Today” show, true to form, leering and drooling ovee the whole thing….

In a further twist, Spiegel also claimed John Mark Karr is now living as a woman. That’s the first part of this story that actually makes some sense to this reporter.

Spiegel was granted a temporary restraining order against Karr April 19, but the courts have been unable to serve him with the papers because they can’t find him. He may be out in the world somewhere getting his hair done or doing some grocery shopping. Ha Ha Ha (Sarcasm)

Spiegel says she was nine when she first met Karr, who was a teacher’s aide at her all-girls Catholic school. She lost touch with him, but attempted to reconnect after Karr confessed to the 1996 murder of JonBenet Ramsey, says Spiegel’s attorney Robin Sax. By the way this Sax is also a contributor to a CBS web site for the program “48 Hours/Mystery” So why is she butting into this case other than as a glory hog trying to root and grunt for a little love? Stay Tuned…

 Karr’s bizarre, detailed confession in the Ramsey case was dismissed because DNA tests failed to connect him to the crime scene. He was tagged thereafter by investigators as a Thrill Boy, a kind of weirdo who hangs around murder scenes to get his cookies.

Unfortunately for Spiegel, she says she opened up a door for Karr that she could not close. According to Sax, Karr began emailing and instant messaging Spiegel over a hundred times a day. My inmvestigation reveals that, yes, it’s true. Buggy oddballs like this Karr will bother you until you beat them with a bat or they die some other way.

The teen maintains that Karr, who now goes by the woman’s name Alexis Valoran Reich, (this just keeps getting better) made what was described as “ongoing death threats” and “threats of exploitation to children” in emails.

Spiegel, who claims Karr brainwashed her, says she and Karr had been engaged, and that he told her to help him recruit children. She even thought about letting him meet her niece. This girl sounds Manson-ed up to me. I mean she was on that fast track and it leads to only one place: Squeaky Terrace, a semi-sociopathic state in which the individual doesn’t mind anyone dying as long as it isn’t them or the Jesus personality, in this case Karr.

She says she’s speaking out now to help other potential victims. Our investigation reveals this may be bullshit on a platter. Our investigation reveals she may be looking to position herself with the DA. Stay tuned.

“I think I was just thinking that he was misunderstood. He was a victim of his childhood, of his family, of everybody, and that he needed to be saved in some sort of way,” Spiegel said. Typical of many women, even girls I guess (sigh)

As for Karr’s apparent name change, it was reported by media outlets as early as March that Karr was undergoing a full gender transformation. He may be looking as well to species reassignment surgery whereby the recipient recieves the genitals of a house pet. Karr has also allegedly inquired into recieving the reproductive system of an orange so stay tuned for that.–Margaret Grey

….will be shrouded in fog…

We’re kidding. John and Jeff are nice chaps and have been working hard for many a day. We thought it was a funny line, is all…..

art work by Amanda green