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Purchasing a Canadian: What are your rights?

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination … End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I’m confident you can help..

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,
James M. Kauffman,
Ed.D. Professor Emeritus,
Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
University of Virginia

PS (It would be a damn shame if we couldn’t own a Canadian)

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Mailbag!

 Justin Hall
Subject: Thanks
…..I used to listen to you when I discovered your show on the air in the early 2000’s. The other day I was really needing some laughs and thought about your show – went to your website and signed up for a BSP.
What a great decision! Dude, watching your show live is so much better than listening to it!
I just wanted to say thanks for the comedy. It really helps listening to you after a long day.

Phil Hendrie

Subject: Sure thing

Greatest left-handed compliment I’ve ever gotten Justin. Thanks.

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Coach John Wooden Suffering From Dehydration

 UCLA officials say Hall of Famer John Wooden has been in the hospital since May 26 due to dehydration but would not confirm media reports that he is in grave condition.

Former UCLA star Bill Walton said Thursday that he visited with Wooden at the hospital two days earlier but declined to comment on Wooden’s condition.

Los Angeles television station KCAL and the Los Angeles Times first reported that Wooden was in grave condition.

© 2010 The Associated Press.

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Show Log For Thursday, June 3, 2010

Network Best Of on Radio

artwork by amanda green

Classic Shows on the Web (see below)

Thursday Feb 10, 2000 -“Valentines For Single Men” Rudy Canosa joins the program to give advice to single men who want to enjoy Valentines Day without being in a long-term relationship. Rudy says picking up on married women and then dumping them is a good way to enjoy the weekend

Thursday, May 18, 2000–“Glock In My Bitches Ribs” Lloyd Bonifide discusses the NRA and explains why we have the Million Mom March to thank for the recent surge in membership.

May 31, 2000–Chris Norton joins the program, he runs a website called Sessuality.com featuring photos of him that will remind older women how great it is to be with a younger guy.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005–Father James McQuarters is on to tell Phil that he allows kids to use foul language on campus until Hurricane Katrina blows over. Listeners believe that Father James lacks respect because he does not demand it or conduct himself in a proper way. Phil plays a flashback of Bob Greene…The 30 Minute Delivery Service. 

Tuesday July 5, 2005–Art Griego is a retired commercial pilot who believes local baseball diamonds should be turned into private aviation strips where kids can learn how to fly. He says hits far less likely a plane from the strip will crash into your house than a foul ball “will come sailing through your kitchen window and while you turn to get more Gerber’s it takes your kids head clean off.”