Now download the Pre-Shows and listen as Phil grumbles and talks shit before the show starts. You never know who'll get ripped a new ass. Always entertaining!
Bob Green pissed as Candy Crush Saga Opens Low
Bob Green discussed the "anal raping" he took buying Candy Crush Saga stock and also attempted to explain some coupon for "5 percent off at Frazier Foods in todays Orange County Courier." Bob said you had to cut out his picture but, please cut off the push broom he's holding. It was supposed to be a feather duster. Frank Grey was called by Margaret to come on the show and defend her against Bob Greens nasty comments. Frank said he beat Bob in a lawsuit and "we wound up bending her over and having our way with her, financially speaking." Dave Oliva was interviewed on the topic of drunk Secret Service people. "Hey, it happens," said Dave. "It's a high pressure job. I myself worked security for a band in Long Beach at Belmont Shores and so many dudes wanted to sleep with the chick lead singer I was like 'no, no, a thousand times no.' I wound up drinking apple-flavored Bacardi and spewing all over everyone backstage."
And now the Pre-Show, where Phil shovels dirt, talks shit and lets everyone in on the real behind-the-scenes, is available as a separate download for our BSPs
Mavis Leonard sang 'Slinky on my trail'
Jeff Dowdder, a part time professor of mechanical physics and base jumper, talked with Phil about the guys that base jumped from the top of the new Freedom Tower in NYC back in September and who have just now been arrested for it. Dowdder said the freedom you feel with the wind flowing up your pant leg is what its all about. General Shaw countered by saying heaven help the man who is coming down in a parachute "feeling all free and breezy and he doesn't notice a baby in a bassinet sucking on a bottle and looking in wonder at the world around him and this lover lands on top of the kid with a sickening squish sound!" Vernon Dozier thinks the Chinese have got some pair on them demanding all kinds of info from the Malaysians. Dozier sent two buddies of his who are down there on construction jobs into the press conference to ask the question "'Scuse me, 'scuse me. When are you bowl haircuts going to climb off everyones back." Mavis Leonard reported on the Oscar Pistorius trial, telling Phil she's been so unnerved by it she's had nightmares about a guy with two Slinky's for legs chasing her. She also sang a blues song about the Slinky called "Slinky on my trail."
Pre-shows, where Phil dishes the serious behind the scenes shit, are now available for download. Would I lie to you?
Harris Ranch Airport, Coalinga, Ca.
Phil started the show talking about something he ate over the weekend and the effect it was having on his stomach. This naturally evolved into a discussion of Margaret's Old Spice-smelling farts. Art Griego was scheduled to talk about Flight 370 but he received word that his daughter and 'some bum' stole an airplane Art was servicing and flew it as far north as 'that ranch with the restaurant off of I-5 that sells the blooming onion.' There, in some motel, they scored meth and snorted it off of the hood of the dealers truck. It turned out Arts daughter turned both the 'bum' and the dealer onto the meth, neither having tried it before. Herb Sewell commented on an oil spill in Galveston Bay, saying there need to be tighter rules regulating the "half-wits and unreconstructed nincompoops" that pilot ship's through there. Bob Bakian angered Phil by apparently saying before the broadcast for the crew to "keep that cheese dick Hendrie off my back. And, of course, Phil started screaming about the 'audio-processing' on the show again.
At the onset of menopause, ask your doctor about a Backstage Pass to philhendrieshow.com